Those lines of commentary were, of course, taken from the 24th August 2005, as the 'best referee in world football' imagined a foul that cost Everton a place in the Champions League. And yes, I am still bitter.
Pierluigi f***ing Collina. The beady eyed, blazing-bonced knobhead.
But enough about the 'best referee in the world', and on to Friday's friendly at Goodison. The home pre-season fixture is always widely anticipated as fans flock to see their new signings. Oh, wait...
With no new faces at Finch Farm the Summer has been a largely depressing one for Evertonians. On the pitch we have been good in patches, with emphatic wins in Bury and Washington, but Tuesday's performance in Bremen showed that we still have a lot to work on.
We will now once again 'welcome' Villarreal to Goodison in an attempt to exact revenge of sorts on El Submarino Amarillo (the yellow submarine). But what can we expect from the visitors?
Well, I'm not sure we'll be able to shout 'come on Everton, these are s****', because they're a bit good. They enjoyed a successful campaign last year in both domestic and European competition, a campaign that saw a fourth-placed La Liga finish and a Europa League run that stretched to the semi-finals, where they were defeated by eventual winners Porto.
Villarreal's main threat will almost certainly be their forward duo of Guiseppe Rossi and Nilmar. Italian Rossi had spells at Manchester United and newcastle United before settling in Spain, where he has become one of the League's most feared frontmen. He bagged an impressive 18 League goals last season with a further 11 in the Europa League, a competition in which he finished as top scorer.
Brazilian Nilmar Honorato da Silva is also one to watch, with his impressive performances in Spain earning him a running total of 23 caps for Brazil. Another name recognizable to English football fans is that of ex-West Brom player Borja Valero, whilst the only players still present in the Villarreal squad from the Champions League tie in 2005 are captain Marcos Senna and Argentine defender Gonzalo Rodriguez.
Villarreal will certainly represent our toughest test of pre-season, but I'm going to predict a 1-0 win for the Blues ahead of the season curtain-raiser at White Hart Lane on August 13th.
8 days, 22 hours, 10 minutes and counting.
StickyToffee Prediction: Everton 1-0 Villarreal
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